Why I love being a mom

Most days I feel that I'm living my best days yet. That everything I've done in my short life before this - was not quite as good as this. This includes all the travelling, the mentoring, teaching, running retreats, volunteering, singing, performing...all of it.

Everyday, I wake up and I am a hero. I am a hero in just making toast with peanut butter. I am a hero in that I can figure out how to find and work the tv remote on demand. I am a hero because I can create FUN out of nothing. The rewards are endless - I get multitudes of kisses all day long, and better still, my kisses have become magical, they now have healing powers over a variety of ailments and emotional hurts. I get to take naps and I get to play in snow banks. I love to cook and I get to do it all day - even though I usually only have one customer who'll eat my meals (Chris) -it's still fun practising for the day that my home is filled with giant teenage boys who are never full (this I'm told from my mentors - mothers with grown sons).

I get to show my boys the world - and they are excited over "big hills", train tracks and the lake. We take frequent trips with our imaginations too. Yesterday, at bedtime, I was Queen of a faraway kingdom with my two handsome prinnces (no mommy, I'm the brave knight - corrected Lucas), and Chris was the big King. I've never had a more captive audience to all my random comments, and they usually come back to me - "oh gosh", "crap!", and "give me a break"...umhmmm

To be sure, I'm faced with daily challenges, but these challenges are not just external, they are 100% internal too - my heart is examined and exposed all the time. My spiritual and psychological research is immediately implemented and therefore my growth is exponentially guaranteed - and there is no hiding - I cannot blame my children for my failures, rather I accept them and lean on the Lord to strengthen me, to bring me to peace again, to be my joy in the midst of adversity and HE IS. I don't know what I did before this that I thought was so important, having kids has brought me right into the middle of LIFE - the simplist things are the most enjoyable things.

Hugs, blankets, baths, coffee, a cookie (or 10), a casual phone call, a walk, singing a song, playing in dirt, a picture book, a flower, love letters, sitting in a sunbeam, a purring cat, babies, smiles, sleeping children, candlelight, "I love you's", and enjoying the four seasons up close and personal. I hope I never grow upand lose sight of how grand my life is.

Contentment

Today if I had to describe how I'm feeling, I'd have to say "content". Generally, things are good. Could they be better? Definately. Could they be worse? They sure could. But overall, I'm at peace in my heart and mind. I'm enjoying be at home and putting things order, I'm enjoying all the time with my kids and hubby. I'm liking the "quietness" here, being able to read, scrapbook and putter - and mostly just to think. I love this. I love the snow outside, and that I could fill every day with errands and outings, but I'm not overly committed to anything, so on days like today, I can just stay home and "be".

So here I am, just "being" at home. I've dressed & fed the boys (including nursing the baby) both breakfast and lunch, I've put dinner in the crock, done a load of laundry, cleaned up the playroom, tidied the bedrooms, bathrooms and living rooms. Done the dishes, put things in order in the cupboards, checked my email and put aside some things for storage, I've put up a shelf in the kitchen and updated my daytimer. I've quietly enjoyed every moment of it, and it's only 12:30. Max will go down for a nap, Lucas will get his quiet time, I'll feed the baby again, and decide what quiet activity I'll do this afternoon - read? scrapbook? prepare my lesson for Thursday? call a friend? catch Oprah? hmmm - the options are glorious. Overall, the best part of it is that I'm inwardly happy. I've adjusted to the fact that everyday I will think of something else that could make life easier, something else to buy/do for the house - but overall, If I just keep living in the quiet moments of the present, I'll be able to enjoy the here and now so much more, rather than in the ever evasive moments of tomorrow.

Sunday Afternoons

I love quiet Sunday afternoons. Always have.

When I was a kid, we never planned much for Sundays - we went to church and usually had a big family dinner that evening, so the stretch of afternoon in between was always quiet, watching a movie, or reading or doing something restful. I do remember there were many times I was bored, and wanted to go out and "do" anything. But my mom insisted it was a day for quietness, and family. I'm glad she forced the issue.

Now that I'm a parent, I'm even more glad and I love them even more. I love having Chris and the boys nearby, when we're all at home, especially in the winter months, there's just something about snuggling down in a fuzzy blanket with nowhere to go and nothing to do. I love when it stretches into the evening and the time just passes slowly with our just being together. My soul looks forward to the rest and now, I know that I need it more than ever, as the days pass faster and faster and the boys grow up in no time flat. Sunday afternoons are the chance I have to consistently enjoy these precious days that I know I'll never get back.

Two Faces

Most people know that January was named after the Roman god "Janus". It was a head with 2 faces - one looking ahead and one looking back. Appropriate for the season...

Looking Back

After creating memory albums for all our parents as well as our annual newsletter and Christmas Card, I feel like I've sufficiently "reviewed" 2007 in my mind. It was a year of definate extremes. Big losses, big gains. Exremely happy moments and extremely sad ones. It's also been a year of work, of plans and dreams.

Despite all this, it's been a "quiet year". I year of little moments, day after day of taking life in, absorbing it, loving it. Being grateful for all things. Enjoying the simple things. Appreciating order, walking in harmony and beauty. Finally, joy. It's been a joyful year. Truly full of joy. Abundant joy.

Looking ahead

And so it's a new year. How exciting...

What's gonna happen? Who am I going to meet? What new thing will I experience? What challenge will I take? In what areas will I grow? I'm believing that it will be another "quiet year", mostly because we are at peace. Our hearts and minds are at peace and it's in our home. The biggest thing is not feeling anxious anymore, about anything. Sure, we've got days that just aren't fun, but overall, Jesus has truly been our Peace. He's been our Peace in the Midst of the Storm and our fullness the rest of the time.

So trusting that the major things we lived through this year (deaths, family weddings, births, floods, renovations, financial setbacks) will happen to other people rather than us directly, I know our lives will still be superabundantly blessed because of Jesus and no matter what happens, we'll be at rest through it all. Cheers!

Evertything Autumnal

I didn't post this one when I wanted to, but my favourite season is the fall, the last mad burst of colours everywhere, the crisp air, the football games, the trips to farms, the yard work, the yummy comfort foods, the sweaters, slippers and blankets, the early nights and the wind and rain. It's just perfect. Every year we find something new to do to experience the season as fully as possible. When we first married, Chris and I would travel to the Allegheny Mountains in the States - the colours are fabulous. We've spent a weekend in a log cabin, we've visited pumpkin farms, apple cider mills, gone on hayrides, had ample fires in the back yard. Chris has his annual tailgating parties at Buffalo Bills games. We've hosted harvest parties and gone on leaf hunts with the boys... as they get older we're looking forward to reliving many of these memories over and over.

I mean we try to do special things in each season, but it seems like the fall is something we just so fully enjoy - neither Chris nor I are hot weather people, so the fall is perfect, followed by winter (but more on that at a later time). I love making soups and baking, I love my crock pot and roasts, stews and chile - and of course fresh bread. So as it seems to be quickly drawing to a close (sigh) - due to the unseasonably long summer... cheers to everything autumnal!