Why I love being a mom

Most days I feel that I'm living my best days yet. That everything I've done in my short life before this - was not quite as good as this. This includes all the travelling, the mentoring, teaching, running retreats, volunteering, singing, performing...all of it.

Everyday, I wake up and I am a hero. I am a hero in just making toast with peanut butter. I am a hero in that I can figure out how to find and work the tv remote on demand. I am a hero because I can create FUN out of nothing. The rewards are endless - I get multitudes of kisses all day long, and better still, my kisses have become magical, they now have healing powers over a variety of ailments and emotional hurts. I get to take naps and I get to play in snow banks. I love to cook and I get to do it all day - even though I usually only have one customer who'll eat my meals (Chris) -it's still fun practising for the day that my home is filled with giant teenage boys who are never full (this I'm told from my mentors - mothers with grown sons).

I get to show my boys the world - and they are excited over "big hills", train tracks and the lake. We take frequent trips with our imaginations too. Yesterday, at bedtime, I was Queen of a faraway kingdom with my two handsome prinnces (no mommy, I'm the brave knight - corrected Lucas), and Chris was the big King. I've never had a more captive audience to all my random comments, and they usually come back to me - "oh gosh", "crap!", and "give me a break"...umhmmm

To be sure, I'm faced with daily challenges, but these challenges are not just external, they are 100% internal too - my heart is examined and exposed all the time. My spiritual and psychological research is immediately implemented and therefore my growth is exponentially guaranteed - and there is no hiding - I cannot blame my children for my failures, rather I accept them and lean on the Lord to strengthen me, to bring me to peace again, to be my joy in the midst of adversity and HE IS. I don't know what I did before this that I thought was so important, having kids has brought me right into the middle of LIFE - the simplist things are the most enjoyable things.

Hugs, blankets, baths, coffee, a cookie (or 10), a casual phone call, a walk, singing a song, playing in dirt, a picture book, a flower, love letters, sitting in a sunbeam, a purring cat, babies, smiles, sleeping children, candlelight, "I love you's", and enjoying the four seasons up close and personal. I hope I never grow upand lose sight of how grand my life is.

Business Trips

Otherwise known as strength training and conditioning. Chris' job takes hime away about a week or more a month on business trips across Canada and the Northeast USA, and during these trips I am left to care for the children on my own. Sometimes the task seems a bit daunting and usually by the end of such trips I'm pretty wiped out, especially if it's a long one. Lately though, I'm getting pretty good at keeping the boys on a schedule, so even though I miss my hubby a whole whole lot, it's not because I feel overwhelmed physically, but because he's my best friend and I miss his company at the end of the day. He's truly my best friend and though sometimes he drives me crazy with his messy ways (which he has passed down to Max :o); I can truly relax and laugh with Chris like no one else, and he's inspiring, he believes in me, he encourages me (esp. in my latest endeavour to get in shape) - when he doesn't come home at the end of the day, everything is just not right.

The boys notice it too, though they don't say much other than "I miss daddy" - by the end of a trip they are usually pretty "off"; thankfully, it is made better the moment daddy walks through the door. The whole house sighs in relief. So to all the women who have husbands who travel alot, God bless you today! Heaven knows we need it!

Contentment

Today if I had to describe how I'm feeling, I'd have to say "content". Generally, things are good. Could they be better? Definately. Could they be worse? They sure could. But overall, I'm at peace in my heart and mind. I'm enjoying be at home and putting things order, I'm enjoying all the time with my kids and hubby. I'm liking the "quietness" here, being able to read, scrapbook and putter - and mostly just to think. I love this. I love the snow outside, and that I could fill every day with errands and outings, but I'm not overly committed to anything, so on days like today, I can just stay home and "be".

So here I am, just "being" at home. I've dressed & fed the boys (including nursing the baby) both breakfast and lunch, I've put dinner in the crock, done a load of laundry, cleaned up the playroom, tidied the bedrooms, bathrooms and living rooms. Done the dishes, put things in order in the cupboards, checked my email and put aside some things for storage, I've put up a shelf in the kitchen and updated my daytimer. I've quietly enjoyed every moment of it, and it's only 12:30. Max will go down for a nap, Lucas will get his quiet time, I'll feed the baby again, and decide what quiet activity I'll do this afternoon - read? scrapbook? prepare my lesson for Thursday? call a friend? catch Oprah? hmmm - the options are glorious. Overall, the best part of it is that I'm inwardly happy. I've adjusted to the fact that everyday I will think of something else that could make life easier, something else to buy/do for the house - but overall, If I just keep living in the quiet moments of the present, I'll be able to enjoy the here and now so much more, rather than in the ever evasive moments of tomorrow.

A Good Book

I love books. It's almost problematic, my husband thinks we have too many, and he's right. But part of me thinks we don't have enough. (Even though all the bookshelves are full and overflowing and I've got boxes of them still to find a bookshelf). But I really do read them, and many of them I've read more than once. A good book can make me feel like a better, stronger person. Finding the right book in the right season of life is like finding the perfect pair of mittens the day before a snowstorm.

I love getting lost in a good fiction novel, historical or mystery. It's a surefire way that I'll relax, and I never feel guilty spending hours in a book the way I would watching tv. Plus I read fast, so I can read alot. I think the ability started when I was about 11 - I could read a whole Nancy Drew book in a day and by the end of highschool it was Mary Higgins Clarke books. So the challenge continues to this day, finding a book that requires something of me in reading it. I've found I love going back to some of the classics - Charles Dickens, Thoreau, L.M. Montgomery, Jane Austin, C.S. Lewis... over and over, but then some of the contemporary ones are just as worth it - Cormac McCarthy, Ken Follet...

Of course, this is not discounting subjects that matter to me like family (Dobson, Eldredge); Business (Kyosaki, Hansen, Allen, Covey); Leadership (Maxwell). And then there are the biographies (we'll leave that to a later time)

Anyways, books are my friends - they've been faithful throughout the years and the seasons. They are low maintenance and I know that no matter how long we've been apart, when we meet again, we always just pick up right where we left off!

Sunday Afternoons

I love quiet Sunday afternoons. Always have.

When I was a kid, we never planned much for Sundays - we went to church and usually had a big family dinner that evening, so the stretch of afternoon in between was always quiet, watching a movie, or reading or doing something restful. I do remember there were many times I was bored, and wanted to go out and "do" anything. But my mom insisted it was a day for quietness, and family. I'm glad she forced the issue.

Now that I'm a parent, I'm even more glad and I love them even more. I love having Chris and the boys nearby, when we're all at home, especially in the winter months, there's just something about snuggling down in a fuzzy blanket with nowhere to go and nothing to do. I love when it stretches into the evening and the time just passes slowly with our just being together. My soul looks forward to the rest and now, I know that I need it more than ever, as the days pass faster and faster and the boys grow up in no time flat. Sunday afternoons are the chance I have to consistently enjoy these precious days that I know I'll never get back.

Two Faces

Most people know that January was named after the Roman god "Janus". It was a head with 2 faces - one looking ahead and one looking back. Appropriate for the season...

Looking Back

After creating memory albums for all our parents as well as our annual newsletter and Christmas Card, I feel like I've sufficiently "reviewed" 2007 in my mind. It was a year of definate extremes. Big losses, big gains. Exremely happy moments and extremely sad ones. It's also been a year of work, of plans and dreams.

Despite all this, it's been a "quiet year". I year of little moments, day after day of taking life in, absorbing it, loving it. Being grateful for all things. Enjoying the simple things. Appreciating order, walking in harmony and beauty. Finally, joy. It's been a joyful year. Truly full of joy. Abundant joy.

Looking ahead

And so it's a new year. How exciting...

What's gonna happen? Who am I going to meet? What new thing will I experience? What challenge will I take? In what areas will I grow? I'm believing that it will be another "quiet year", mostly because we are at peace. Our hearts and minds are at peace and it's in our home. The biggest thing is not feeling anxious anymore, about anything. Sure, we've got days that just aren't fun, but overall, Jesus has truly been our Peace. He's been our Peace in the Midst of the Storm and our fullness the rest of the time.

So trusting that the major things we lived through this year (deaths, family weddings, births, floods, renovations, financial setbacks) will happen to other people rather than us directly, I know our lives will still be superabundantly blessed because of Jesus and no matter what happens, we'll be at rest through it all. Cheers!

News on the Arrival

The Delivery Story

After my due date came and went (November 21st) I think I became resigned to having the baby on the date I was scheduled for induction (the 28th). After several days of discomfort but remaining at 1 ½ -2 cms dilated with no steady contractions – we went in to the hospital at 6 am on the 28th. They were behind though, because of several emergency deliveries so we had to wait a few hours. Pastor RoxAnne joined us soon after arriving and helped keep things light. We prayed together believing that the delivery would take place before 4 pm as Dr. Chan had to leave early that day due to a family commitment.

At 9 am, Dr. Chan came in a checked, I was 3 cm (no contractions) so they started the oxytocin drip and broke my water. I had an awesome nurse named Weena who stayed with us a good chunk of the time. I tried to go without the epidural for as long as I could, but the induced contractions were pretty brutal by noon (almost on top of each other – and I was 6 cm). So I requested the epi – but they were behind too, so the technician didn’t arrive until about 1:30 – after what felt like a dozen attempts thanks to my crazy back) and much prayer on mine and RoxAnne’s part (Chris had to leave – gets squeamish), they finally got it in. It was 2 pm. About10 minutes later – the nurse said the baby’s heart rate was dropping a tiny bit, Dr. Chan came in and said I was 9 cm and that the head was in the canal, and that we were going to make it happen – RoxAnne and I were praying for Chris to get back – which he did just as Dr. Chan told me to push and started pulling at the baby (I was hardly mentally prepared for pushing as I was used to these 18 hour deliveries) but together Pastor RoxAnne, the nurse and the Doctor got me to focus. Then the doctor said he needed to use the vacuum, which I don’t really remember this – but the next thing I knew they were telling Chris to sit down on the floor by my bed, I guess it looked pretty bad, but overall it was very fast and I was glad to have it over, because with it, and one BIG push, Carter was out and the relief was absolutely amazing!

He was a whopping 9 lbs 12oz and he arrived at 2:44pm well before the time the doctor needed to be away! Praise God. Anyhow, I was so glad we had Dr. Chan as everything was a lot better in the after period of time. The nurse stopped the epidural right away and I got to feed Carter almost immediately (I didn’t really get to do this with either Lucas or Max) – I actually got to sit up almost right away and they took out the IV soon after that. I was hardly swollen like I had been with the others and I could barely tell I had stitches (Praise God!). Anyways, we had a few visitors; Chris’ mom brought Lucas and Max, who loved the Care Bears that the baby had gotten them and my sister Andrea. Chris Jonker stopped in and Adam and Alex Cormier. God is so good! To top it off, I had been told that the private rooms were all taken and that I’d be in a ward would also be full – 3 other moms and babies – but just as the nurse was moving me – another nurse came in and said that a private room had opened up and I could have it! We actually left the hospital by dinner time the next day since both Carter and I were doing so well…

And now we’re home and still doing well. Carter gained all his birth weight back within 6 days, and the doctor at his one week appt said he was “perfect” and I agree.