Evertything Autumnal

I didn't post this one when I wanted to, but my favourite season is the fall, the last mad burst of colours everywhere, the crisp air, the football games, the trips to farms, the yard work, the yummy comfort foods, the sweaters, slippers and blankets, the early nights and the wind and rain. It's just perfect. Every year we find something new to do to experience the season as fully as possible. When we first married, Chris and I would travel to the Allegheny Mountains in the States - the colours are fabulous. We've spent a weekend in a log cabin, we've visited pumpkin farms, apple cider mills, gone on hayrides, had ample fires in the back yard. Chris has his annual tailgating parties at Buffalo Bills games. We've hosted harvest parties and gone on leaf hunts with the boys... as they get older we're looking forward to reliving many of these memories over and over.

I mean we try to do special things in each season, but it seems like the fall is something we just so fully enjoy - neither Chris nor I are hot weather people, so the fall is perfect, followed by winter (but more on that at a later time). I love making soups and baking, I love my crock pot and roasts, stews and chile - and of course fresh bread. So as it seems to be quickly drawing to a close (sigh) - due to the unseasonably long summer... cheers to everything autumnal!

Rain

It rained all day today, and I loved it!

Everyday I find I have the option to embrace the negative things that try to hinder my happiness, slow traffic, being late, dirty diapers on the way out the door, unexpected expenses...the list goes on and on. Or, I can continue to look through the malestrom and find the abundance that is waiting to rain down on me. In every setback, I've always had everything work out in the long run. I don't know why I get caught up in fretting over things not going easily or perfectly according to plan, because usually, they work out to be even better than my plan!

Earlier today, while folding laundry, I was thinking how grateful I am to have a family to fold laundry for. That I have small boys who need me, and that I've been blessed with a family to nurture and abide with. It just makes it so much easier to do the things that we do day after day after day, when our hearts are full. Now if only I could apply this principle to cleaning the bathroom!

As eager as I am to have this baby, I'm more eager to have everything come together at the house first. So that we can embrace his arrival as an event on it's own and really just fully revel in the wonder of it. And then after that, to fully enjoy the advent of the holiday season as a family without any other distractions. To really enjoy the celebration of the Prince of Peace, by having a season of peace at home. mmm. I love rainy days.

Living

So I watched Oprah today, rare in my world of fighting not to watch cartoons with my toddler all day long. Anyways, she had guests on who were dying - as in they had a date that the doctor's had given them. The really the ironic part of it was that they were actually living. Living better quality lives, than before they had a prognosis of death. They seemed to come to terms with the frailty of life, that though we hope and believe that we'll have a long life, in the end, we should not worry about tomorrow, but just live in TODAY.

Last spring when my father in law passed away unexpectedly, I was forced to really contemplate the things that matter in life. I've always wondered how one feels when they close the eyes of one that has passed away, never thinking that that would be me. I remember fighting within myself - "that can't be it! There has to be more." But there wasn't. Ever since then, I've had these "run-ins" with circumstantial things - signs, comments, memories, the life growing within me... that cause my heart and mind to meditate on them more and more.

I want to live, I mean really LIVE every moment of my life, not in some quasi-reality that just speeds by, but in the reality of meaning. That in the end, my life will have counted for something, that I leave a lasting, positive imprint on everyone that has passed through it, especially my children, my extended family and those that spend more than a moment with me.

I want and choose to live deeply, powerfully, transparently and without caring about how I'm perceived. I want to live true to my heart, true to my faith and true to Truth. Not in denial, not in regret, not in offense, not in judgement, not in fear, but in truth. In light, in peace, in joy, in passion and in grace. In a word, in Christ. I choose today to continue walking the path of light that is illuminate before me, regardless of everything else that would try to sway me, I choose to embrace all that is on that path with a full, open heart, and know, that in doing, I'll truly LIVE.