Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Too, too, too
When you've had alot happen and it's been awhile since you've last blogged, everything is "too". too much, too big, too emotional, too intense, too, too, too... obviously this is where I'm at right now...I try to focus on something small in the midst of it all, and yet, it's not enough.
The summer ended, projects were started, finished and more started. We made memories, enjoying the most of the sunny days - trips to the zoo, to parks, the beach, bbq's, bonfires and so much more. Giggles, and tears, crying and laughing, being silly, being calm and rested, just being together. and this is too much. How do you encapture "life" in words. It was just wonderful, it is wonderful.
So that brings me to now, to the busyness, to the self doubts about commitments and decisions. About who to let down, and who not to. It's too much now adays. There's too many options for women, work, don't work. Full time, part time, from home, out of the home and every combination. Volutneerism, and personal growth and expression, really zoning in on parenting, or taking a laid back approach, and all the reflections that accompany whichever route you take.
The nowincludes milestones. Lucas starting school, Carter crawling and pulling up on furniture, Max developing more personality everyday. It's too much to absorb.
For me personally, a lot of emotional things to work through too. Memories, and daily events that should have been shared by Chris' dad, by my dad, and they aren't. Time passes without pause, and it's too much...
Above all this, to try to take account of all the blessings that have been poured out on us, on me, oh, it's too much. That there is a hope, a great hope. That we have a peace, that sustains us and passes understanding, that we've been provided for, super-abundantly. That we have joy unspeakable and that our lives are full of glory, truly, full of glory... each aspect of our life is now illuminated by a great "light". By that awareness of that which is "great" in everything, and that we are daily growing in the knowledge of Christ. His great love, His hope of glory, His very life, his death, his victory, it's just too much... and more than enough.