Wrestling

Does anyone else out there struggle for a LONG time with decisions? I'm not really talking about small day to day things, I'm talking about the bigs ones. The ones that will have a distinct mark in the history of the course of your life? The ones that you know will effect the big picture?

I tend to take a long, long time to work through things in my own mind. I wonder, am I not honest with myself? too honest? Compulsive? Am I bound by fears that hinder me from pressing forward?

All of the above?

Or just wise?

I don't let the process slow me down from day to day life, following God's purpose for today, for my kids or my family... but it does eat up alot of my mental energies when the day gets quiet again. Energies I'd rather spend on creative or productive pursuits...

and still, I can't be rushed. so I wait, and I wrestle, and I pray, and I examine and listen and talk some and listen some more... and i know that when the time comes, the decision will be settled in my heart and in my mind.