She

On Fridays a bunch of brave writers gather here to all spend 5 collective minutes writing on a single prompt.

Here’s how it all got started, back story, details and all. The short version is:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word. (On your blog or in the comments).
2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my blog footer}.
3. Go leave some comment props for the five minute artist who linked up before you.

It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week.

She

  She is turning one next week. 

My heart feels a little bruised, a little softer for wearing. Times flies...

All those moments that make up the first year, almost gone.

I've done my best to enjoy those moments, trying to savour them. 

The sweet smiles, the firsts, the chub, the giggles.

The brothers taking it all in with me.

My baby girl, is toddling into girlhood and I hope I'm ready.

I hope I'm soft enough for her.

To help her through this next chapter with grace.

I hope I continue to see what it's like to be surrounded by boys,

that I never become blind to her heart.

I hope that I can get down on her level in these years, as much as I have this past year.

Bending over to see what she's looking at, to show her something new, to keep her safe.

Bending down to pick her up, to play peak a boo, to help her take those first faltering steps.

I hope I remember to keep slowing down as I have this past year.

To feed her, to change her, to snuggle and comfort her.

To watch her sleep.

Lord, keep my heart soft and my eyes wide open.

So I won't get caught up in the daily grind, as to miss the joy.

I hope that she continues to be the reminder to me to slow down, 

To enjoy every moment, 

to be softer, 

to smile more, 

to speak less and listen more.

Not just with her, but with the boys and my love and my friends too. 

She is my baby girl, and she is almost one.

Fall Mantels

Autumn has arrived again!

I've been gradually nesting and making the house cozier with blankets, cushions and odds and ends. 

Since the changes in the kitchen this summer, it's been fun changing up the mantel/shelf in the dining/homeschool area.

As seems to be the trend, I've tried to create my vignettes without purchasing anything. My hydrangeas were stunning this year, here's some dried ones, and the herbs I hung to dry here, work in with the decor. 

The lighting here is terrible, but here's a first glimpse of the vignette in the entryway. I have absolutely loved highlighting ORANGE in my decor again. As much as I appreciate the neutrals, I need the splashes of colour inside my house as well as outside in the changing landscape.
 

Here's a small neutral toned vignette one that I used my dollar store owl in. Again, sorry for the picture quality, all I've got right now is my phone camera... ha!

I've decided that my family room will employ the "retro cottage" look - we're employing a VERY multi-coloured palette (thanks to employing all the handmade afghans and quilts we've acquired through the years. This school year I've decided that our homeschool will be a part of our home rather then stuff we pull out and put away all the time, so my bookshelves in the living room are jam packed full of books and supplies we use all the time, so I've not used much fall decor in the room, but the cozier feel is definitely here because of the extra books and blankets - and the fact that we're using them!

Anyways, I'm linking up to a fall linky party to keep my momentum going around the house and to savour each and every moment at home with my lovelies.

A Father's Hands...

Yesterday was one of those days. 

It started out ok...

Then quickly spiraled down and out of control. 

The oldest boy had ATTITUDE.

The middle boy was EMOTIONAL with ATTITUDE.

The youngest boy was WHINY.

They were all fighting, running in the house, making wrong choices.

The baby was cranky...teething? diaper rash? fussy?  

All of the above.

Even the dog was annoying.

That morning I'd been reminded of a few personal setbacks... 

Waves of  worry, fear, doubting self, doubting God...

Feeling like the little we had, would never be enough to meet the need. 

Feeling unsettled, words in my mind wearing away at the Peace

That usually keeps me calm in the midst of these storms.

Feeling pretty ugly inside and out.

So I kept losing my cool... 

yelling...

threatening...

lashing out... 

probably worse, 

I've blocked it from my memory.

We were all ready for a change of pace, a change of scenery.

I remember driving to the organic farm to pick up the veggies

On the verge of tears. 

At the farm, the dear farmer sensed my duress.

She made me laugh. 

A moment outside of the moment. 

She encouraged me like only a mama of mamas can.

We drove home in almost silence. A hymn was playing on the radio.

The quiet was needed...appreciated.

The baby had fallen asleep.

The boys were not fighting, not even talking.

I pulled into the drive.

Thinking about what to make for dinner.

Giving instructions for unloading the veggies...

...

...

The middle boy was not in the van...

...

...

 Momentary panic.

...

...

Call the farmer.

He's there. Relief.

Drive 25 mins back there to get him.

Beat myself up most of the way.

Afterall...how could I not notice he wasn't in the van?!

Sigh...

I really felt like crying on the way home again.

Decided, that the day was basically lost now

A lost day...

When I should have loved my kids better...

When I should have been gentle, and kind. 

 And now it was half hour to bedtime...

No time to make dinner...

MacDonald's it is.

At least the boys were thrilled.

I beat myself up for not providing a healthier dinner.

In the drive-thru...I had to dig into the recesses of my wallet to pay.

Tucked inside a pocket, was shoved one of these.

I haven't seen one in years. 

(for my American friends - we have dollar coins here)

For some reason, it reminded me of my dad.

How his hands hardened by work, would always offer to give me money.

When I was around 9 and first allowed to ride my bike to the corner store.

When I was 16 and driving the car and needed gas.

When I was visiting home from college and always in need of a little extra cash.

How on a day like this, he would have put his arms around me...

And the world would have felt better again.

Sometimes we'd just sit in the garden, quiet.

I thought about how much I miss those hands, 

How that final goodbye felt a few short years ago...

How much I wanted my daddy at that moment.

Mercy, the tears would not stop...

I almost had to pull over the van.

...

Then the kindest whisper...

A reminder really.

That there was another set of hands...

Readily available...

Hands that were not only work hardened...

But pierced.

For me.

Hands, eagerly waiting for me to surrender the day

Ready to provide, 

Ready to take fish and bread, and meet those needs and more.

Restoring peace, reminding me of Eternity 

and how my earthly daddy lives there now, with Him.

Redeeming the day, in a moment.

Making the world feel better again.

Oh how wonderful to to fall into my Heavenly Father's Hands

To be enveloped in His grace and mercy.

Psalm 31:14

But as for me, I trust You, oh Lord,

I say,"You are my God"

My Times are in your hand...

And as the day came to a close, 

Kissing soft cheeks, whispering thanks

whispering "I love yous"

Watching the steady rise and fall of little bodies at rest.

Peace...I am still.

Knowing the day is saved, and a new one is at hand.

A new one, that is in His hand,
As I am.